Miss you

Mummy I miss you so much, I never imagined it would be so intense, so severe the loss of your physical presence. The umbilical cord between us is not yet broken it seems. I don't think it ever can. The bond we have, the relationship we had was mother-daughter, friends, confidantes, teacher-student, nurse-patient (with me being the strictest nurse possible on earth,)

Without touch of empathy, its not that I did not feel your pain, I felt is so much that I wanted you to experience it again, I felt is so much that your dreams became mine, I did not even realize when that happened.

Even now if you ask me what are my personal dreams, i have none, I am at such a loss. I wanted to work, for you, I wanted to earn more and more money, just so that I never have to look to anyone for your medical needs.

I understood you so much, that I started controlling your life more than I did mine.

I felt your loneliness so much, I tried being your equal in discussions and started giving lectures.

I saw your dreams so much, that I wanted you to reach and fulfill them, even when you were not ready for them

Most of all I was so dependent on you, that now I am a lost bird in this wide sky flying directionless.

I am a lost fish in the deep ocean, swimming aimlessly.

I am a lost soul in the world, just serving my time.